I Had Ding-Dongs for Breakfast!

...I promise, this is the last post for the day...

I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!!!

I got a care package in the mail this morning from Meg, Lin, and Abs. At first I thought the door bell was someone coming to fix something (someone's come to fix something at least 3 times a week since we've moved in). Then the mailman came up the elevator and I saw he had a box (YEAH!!) but then he wanted to talk (in English) for what felt like FOREVER. Apparently he lived in Kansas City for a while and has a daughter that goes to college in LA....yeah, yeah, yeah...WHAT'S IN THE BOX!?!?!

There were all kinds of treasures! PICTURES, magazines, all kinds of great snacks and meals in a box (thanks!), my bras from Gap, a very sweet card, a great mix tape (ok, it was really a cd - but it makes me think of the Ave. Q song), and my new t-shirt. SEE!!What you can't see in this picture is that I just finished a DELIGHTFUL lunch of Velveta shells and cheese, I'm chewing some Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape, I'm listening to "Vampire", and I'm wearing one of my new Gap bras.

As I was opening up everything I started bawling like a little baby, of course. Europe is great and it's such a wonderful experience but I miss being home with my friends and family sometimes. I spend a lot of time here by myself, it's nice but it gets kinda lonely... Kyle goes off to work where people are paid to be nice to him (I'm sure they'd be nice to you anyway dear) and I'm at home trying to explain to the plumber that water was spewing from the dryer through hand jesters and sound effects. Don't worry, this feeling is passing. I'm getting better at not being scared of EVERYTHING and sometimes I even leave the house for fun!

Milano, Here We Come!

Since Kyle has a holiday on Thursday (01/05/08) for 'Riot Day' (yes, you read that right. It's a day in which they actually promote riots as a form of artistic expression) we decided he would take of Friday also and we would go on a trip.

I went and bought train tickets to Milan. We leave Thursday morning at 9:09 and get back Sunday night at 8:57. It's about a 4.5 hour train ride but we have no connections and I think we're taking the fast train. The tickets were only $206 for both of us round trip! We also found a hotel (most of the hostels were booked) for 80 EU a night - that's about $125. That's still a darn good price even though the first 30 minutes I thought it was $$.

We have absolutely no idea what we're going to do there...eat and walk? But we can figure that out when we get there! Yeah vacations!

Last weekend

We had a pretty low key weekend with not much going on. Saturday we did a little shopping. We took the bus out to where Kyle catches the train to go to the office (it's like 3 stops away) to go to %utlet (no, I'm not missing a letter, that's how it's 'spelled' - I changed the sizing, that should help.) It's like the worst dollar store you've ever been to, except every thing's like $20. We found 2007 day planners for $5. Really? 2007? I'm actually thinking we just went to the crappy one because they send out ads and the stuff in there looks pretty decent. Maybe I'll try the one down by the HB some time... Kyle did find a bottle of wine there for $5.50 - that's right it was a dollar/liquor store!

While we were waiting at the bus stop this is what we sawThat's right. Those are sheep, walking down the sidewalk next to the train station with their little sheep bells on. So what does Kyle do? "Sprechen Sie English?" And we got a picture with a (soft and fuzzy) sheep in the middle of Zurich.Sunday we went on a walk through the park by Lake Zürich. Just take a look at these pictures for a couple of minutes. go.Yes, you do see a gentleman riding across the lake on a bike with water wings. He's carrying a shopping bag so we assumed that he went across the lake to get whatever he needed and then came back. We watched the guy as he took apart this contraption (and Kyle, of course, was trying to talk through how it worked...I, of course, didn't care/understand - I was more interested in the banana boat.)

Car Update

I took the train back to DietLikon yesterday. (I was telling myself I couldn't clean the house until I got spray bottles and where else do you get spray bottles then at Ikea?)

On the way back I picked up a '20 Minuten'. It's a daily for the commuters. On page 24, right in the middle is a big picture of my new Smart. Apparently it's one of the 'Top Cars for Gay Men in 2008'.

Other winners?

Cadillac CTS - Best Car for the Gay Professional
Volvo S80 - Top Gadget God
Smart Fortwo - Best Green Queen
Saturn Astra- Best Twinkmobile
Audi R8 - Best Car for the Milli-Gay
Pontiac Solstice - Best Topless Go-Go Getter
Range Rover - Best Car for the New Gay Family
Honda Accord Coupe - Best Cruiser for the Trendy Gay Man
Dodge Challenger - Best Retro Flagship

Oh, and I also saw at Smart Forfour yesterday on our walk back from the park. That means I can get a Smart Fortwo (because they're WAY cuter) until I need a four door. Since the Smart Fortwo can park perpendicular in a parallel spot I can park the 2 door in the back of the garage and have the four door out front ready to go! (that and the price of the two cars combined is still less then what most people pay for a real car.)

Separation Anxiety

First of all, it took me like 10 minutes to look up the spelling of 'anxiety' (don't laugh at me because I'm an idiot...). There's a freaking reason computers have spell check!

Second, I can't believe I haven't blogged about this yet!

It is now 11:20 pm Western Europe Daylight Time and I am doing everything I can to keep from going to (our rented) bed. The beds here are crazy. It took me a little while to notice that they don't use top sheets (like the plain flat sheets) but now that it's been noticed it bothers the crap out of me!

Other weird things about the crazy bed:

• It's like 2 inches off the floor, I actually stubbed my toe on the bed the other night! (AND, I don't have to take a running leap to get into bed)
  
• A 'double' is actually 2 twins put together. It has to separate fitted sheets to go over each mattress.
• Again, no top sheet, WEIRD!!
• Each person gets their own down blanket. Kyle has a blanket, and I have my own. Which is nice since I don't like when I wake up in the middle of the night and Kyle has flailed his right arm and leg on top of me (or even worse, he's punching me in the back). The separate blankets hinder his punching ability. But I do miss when it's really cold (which it does get even in April) being able to stealth-ly crawl over to his side of the bed and steal all of his heat - he really likes it when I put my ice cubes (aka feet) on his calf right before he falls asleep! (Sorry mom, it's probably time you know. Kyle and I have been married for like 2 years now - we sleep in the same bed. Two twins is so Laura Petrie...)
• This bed has no 'hump' - in fact is has an anti-hump. It has a big crease down the middle where the to mattresses meet up. I've actually got my feet stuck in there one night.
• It's like laying on air the first 3 minutes your on it. Then you realize that sleeping on the fake wood floor would actually be more comfortable. Somehow the bed gives you the illusion that it is molding to your body (like those sleep number bed) without actually doing anything.

Oh well...Wednesday night I should have my one piece, one top sheeted, super tall, humpy supported bed!

And now it's like midnight.

EDITED : I forgot to mention that the pillows are Scheiße as well...

Interesting Trip to the Grocery Store

On my way out the door to the grocery store yesterday I believe I saw the most interesting vehicle I've ever seen. I didn't have my camera with me so I ran back upstairs to get it before this crazy contraption was gone. I was able to take a picture of it from our window and then again from the street.

Please tell me you can see what this lovely little car thing is...well it's just that, a car thing. This is a three wheeled, one person car that is parked in the motorcycle/bike parking (not very well mind you).

On that note, I have picked out my new car for when I return to the states. As you all know, Kyle and I used to have the cutest freaking cars ever but had to sell them for the move (a slug bug and a toaster). We'll in my ever changing goal to constantly one up myself (and everyone else for that matter) I have chosen this piece of machinery to replace the bug. I originally wanted the Roadster but found out that due to lack of interest they discontinued production in Europe about 3 years ago (that's America, the Smart has been in production for like 8 years over here!!) Kyle and I were going to get his and hers Roadster...guess he'll just have to pick out some lame car instead! Now, I know you have 2 questions for me:

1) What kind of personalize license plate or bumper sticker are you going to get?
2) Where to the kids go? (I know you asked them in this order as well...)

THANKS FOR ASKING!

1) My license plate will probably be something like 'SMARTY' or 'SMARTIE' (which is actually Nestle's answer the the M&M over here, further analysis will need to be done to determine which is better). I also thought about 'SMART1' and SMART2' if we got matching cars (guess who gets 'SMART1'?). The license plate is still in the works. BUT, the bumper sticker will definitely read 'My husband's car is stupid'

2) First of all, EWWWW, KIDS!!! B, there is a good 8-12 cubic feet of storage space behind the seats...you could fit like 8 little ankle bitter back there. III, the safety seat can actually be put in the passenger seat and the airbags deactivated. Please see the included FAQ for additional information and price points. (Ok, everyone has to click on the link I just made because I'm awesome and did it all by myself...)

***Don't worry everyone. I still have my dreams for a red and white striped slug bug with a license place 'CATNHAT' but I can't get that until I have kids that are old enough to be mortally embarrassed***

Oh, on with the rest of my day. I was so enthralled with this car thingy that I wasn't paying attention when I rounded the corner to the grocery store. I nearly ran over a 3 year old peeing on the sidewalk - don't worry, my shoes are fine. I think he was about to take a squat when his mother (I can assume) came running down the hill to help him pull his pants back up. It was really hard to be disgusted because little kids do really cute/disgusting things and I think the kids had on an Armani belt and button down shirt. This kid actually undid his own belt so that he wouldn't soil his (probably Prada) pants after running down the funest looking hill ever (ok, maybe to a 3 year old). I actually got a little twitterpatted because I was so proud of the kid.

Went to the grocery store. Came home. Made Dinner. Went to bed. The end.

I've Been A Little Busy

So...we went to Ikea.

Kyle, I, and our neighbors Keith and Flo rented a big red van to go to Ikea and get a few things. They needed some patio furniture and we needed, well, everything. Our big red van was a Benz (which is very common here) and came complete with a navigation system - which probably should have helped us.

We rented the van through a program called 'Mobility'. It's a really neat thing where you pay a yearly fee (like $100) and then you are able to rent several types of cars from them. You pick them up and your train station and then return them when you are done. You do have to pay for the mileage driven but over all it's a great deal when you don't have a car at your disposal.

Tuesday night after work we all pile into this van. The front seat is a bench seat an only holds three so Kyle was nominated to sit in the back:

After a long detour (for the record I knew exactly where we were going and where we needed to be, we even passed it and I said that was it) we finally arrived at Ikea. Kyle and I had been there the weekend before to pick out what we wanted and get the item numbers, etc. We got all of the items we could from the self service stock room and then made our way to the warehouse to pick up the items we couldn't get ourselves. This is what we bought:
And this is what it looked like once we got it home (there are several more things just to the right of the camera):
So I got to work. I put everything together by hand with a regular screwdriver (our power one was worthless and took more time then if I did it by hand). Remember everything came in flat boxes with a bag of screws. This dresser, each drawer had about 8 screws and you still had to put together the shell. (As you can see I've already filled it with our 2 year supply of toiletries.)
This table is about the heaviest thing ever - and it also has 2 leaves to make it about 6 feet long. (oh, and that's the loveseat/sofa that can't be laid on) We also got one chair for our table. We're in the process of staining and varnishing it before we go back and get 5 more. We're staining it with our can of $19 stain (don't forget the $6 foam brush for applying the stain) and varnishing it with our can of $30 spray varnish...
These are our wardrobes. We actually have one more that I made Kyle put together yesterday and they all have matching doors now. I'll get a better picture once we get some of our rental furniture out of the way.
This is our makeshift office/living room/dining room (because it's the only place we can get the borrowed internet to work...). The chairs are super comfy and the piece the computer monitor is on is our new tv stand.
All of this was basically done between the time Kyle left for work and the time he got home. I woke up the next morning and every single muscle in my body hurt like I had run a marathon. It was ridiculous! My right wrist felt like it had carpel tunnel from all the screwdriving. My thighs were on fire because I squatted to put just about everything together (I'd try to sit on the floor but the second I got into a grove I always needed something from over there...) and my back hurt from bending over all day. I walked around like a broken cowboy for 2 days.

Of course there are more things we need to get from Ikea but most are small and they definitely aren't as important...guess I'll just have to go back!!

Conversion

When in doubt use 2.2...

Miles to KM = 2.2, cups to dl = 2.2, lbs to kg = 2.2, oz to cg = 2.2, feet to meters = 2.2.

Of course, I don't actually think that any of these conversations are correct (ok, actually the cups to dl is pretty darn close - how else am I supposed to make hamburger helper?) but the only conversion factor I remember from jr. high is 2.2 so it must correspond with something.

...It's kind of like always picking 'c' on a multiple choice test. Some of the answers HAVE to be 'c' and when they are you'll get them right...

Kyle Should Be a Model

I guess I forgot to post the pictures of the stuff we got at the parade. This style of cap must be the Swiss free style...(Fun 4 You Arosa? Anybody...please...) I'm not quite sure what guild was passing out the caps, but for the rest of the day everyone was wearing them!

The bread is from the bakers guild and the sausage is from the butchers. Thats right, thats completely unwrapped, made by hand, touched by at least 2 dozen people and passed out by hand, feed to your small children on the side of the parade route - sausage. (We didn't actually it it.)
Yes, Kyle was aware that all of these pictures were being taken and even was told that they were going on the blog...

Sechselauten

Old Settler's Day + Groundhog Day + NYC NYE = Sechselauten

Yesterday was Sechselauten day. The city of Zurich gets half a day off work (that's right...a HALF of a day - because everyone is so much more productive the first 4 hours of the day then the last).

We took the tram to the Paradaplatz (it's like the tram station along the 'Rodeo Drive' of Zurich) and walked up the parade root looking at the vendors and festivities. The vendors were all very Swiss; there was the sticky cheese on toast vendor, the hot dog baguette and Goulash vendor (with no ketchup, only mustard), the Thai food vendor, the chocolate and chocolate vendor, and the pretzel wrapped in bacon and cheese vendor.

The tradition of the parade dates way back (don't ask, I don't actually know). The guilds get together and put on this parade to celebrate their professions. There are butchers and bakers (and candlestick makers), barbers, bankers, professors....pretty much every profession has a guild (now, old the men of the profession are allowed to join and attend the meetings, but don't get me started on my feelings on that). The spectators showed up with huge bags and baskets full of flowers of all kinds. As they see their local butcher (or baker or insurance agent) march past they run out in the middle of the parade to give them some flowers, and they continue to do this until the parade is over. The guild members in the parade (which does include women) are apparently dressed in their traditional garb and even some of the guilds throw out their wears.

There are even floats and bands in the parade! We listened to three marching bands. The first one played the theme song to Hawaii five-0, the second played a song by John Philip Sousa, and the last played 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' by Stevie Wonder. Doesn't anyone else find that HILARIOUS!?! Here are a few pictures to show the crazy (I guess historic) costumes.

(Doesn't this guy remind you of the crazy Muppet from the Labyrinth?)(I think this is the queen of the parade)

(These are the barbers)

(Notice all of the flowers)

After the parade of all of the guilds they walk down to the park by the lake (and opera house - where a couple of the big soccer games will be played this summer) to burn the snowman. It is a big snowman made of hay on top of a 3 story hay pile. The theory goes that the faster the snowman burns the faster summer will come, and the nicer it will be. Although the locals have a theory as well, the more lighter fluid the guilds put on it the faster it will burn...

Each guild gets a couple of minutes to ride around the hay stack on their horses and fan the fire (while their bands plays - probably the theme song from 'Friends' or 'CSI-Miami'). Here's what the snowman starts looking out like:

(Here's a video on the last 3 min of the snowman burning)

On our walk back to the house we walked past the arcade where Kyle tried to win a price by throwing beanbags at a stack of tin cans (just to say that he did) when it started to hail (what a great day for a holiday spent outside). When we got back to the parade route the street sweepers and cleaners were almost done cleaning up all of the trash...

Overall it was a pretty cool day, even though it was a terribly rainy day...

Here Comes The Rain Again...

....raining on my head like a tragedy...

(if you can 'name that tune' you get 10 points - and are beating kyle by oh, about 10 points!)

The weather here is quite interesting. I thought the weather in Kansas was fickle; welcome to Zürich in April!

It seriously rains here at least 4 times a day. I don't mean like it sprinkles and then stops for a while and rains some more...at least in Kansas when it rains it rains for like 3 days straight and then it's done. You're not teased with the thought of being able to leave the house.

Just about every morning I wake up and it's POURING, it rains for a couple of hours and clears up to look like it's going be a beautiful sunny day. Around lunch time the 'someone's about to get murdered' clouds roll in and it storms some more, clears up, rains, clears up, rains...

We've been told that the summer is beautiful here...I can't wait!

Crystal's Weight Loss Regiment

Step 1. Move to Switzerland

Step 2. Refer to step one

Not only are people weighed in kg instead of lbs (conversion rate to be determined) so the number on the scale is smaller but it's easier not to eat when you can't read what your eating. (Not to mention I still don't have any money to buy junk food...)

I went to the Migros the other day to buy a few things...rule one was to not guess what I was buying; if I couldn't see what it was or didn't know I just wouldn't buy it. I found some 'basil' sauce (basically marinara sauce) YUM. I got it home and made it for dinner, it was like stewed tomatoes with little flecks of green and brown YUCK. New rule, don't buy it unless you can SEE what it looks like, even if you know what it is.

...oh, and the basil sauce came it a giant juice box, in fact lots of sauces and liquids come in varying sizes of juice boxes, good thing I was able to use my super power of deduction to know it wasn't - otherwise I would have been sorely disappointed...

Here is a picture of the first meal I made in Switzerland (I know, I know, boiling water and heating up spaghetti sauce really isn't a meal but Kyle's lucky to no t be eating cereal for every meal, lay off!)

You see the box correctly. We had Disney brand Creamy. We decided that it's the love child of marinara and alfredo sauce - Kyle's in heaven! (you can see what I mean about the giant juice boxes?)

Thank you Joe Freach

...this is what we feel like everyday...

Cool New Feature

My super-techie added the subscribe feature to the blog. Now, just click on the 'subscribe via email' or 'subscribe via standardmail' (just below the picture of us) and you can be alerted any way you want when there's a new post to the blog.

...at least I think it's cool...

Some Observations

1. Our rented couch isn't even long enough to partially lay down on but if you lay down in the bathtub you would drowned.

2. The bathroom sinks are huge enough to bathe a little person in but the kitchen sink is about the size of a 'Little Tykes' plastic kitchenette sink.

3. The bathrooms in this place are big enough to be bedrooms (I'm actually thinking about putting a double bed in one), but the guest bedroom is small enough to be a bathroom.

House Pictures, FINALLY!!

Obviously these aren't professional but now everyone can be envious of the luxury I live in everyday...you know where I sit and watch my stories and eat my bon-bons...

Master Bedroom:

Master Bathroom:

(washer and dryer in the master bathroom, awesome!)

Guest Bedroom:

Guest Bedroom Balcony:


Living/Dining Area:


Kitchen:

(Can you find the fridgerator?)

(there it is!)

Office:

Guest Bathroom:



Storage Room/Closet:

(this is EVERYTHING we brought to live for 3 weeks)

Kitchen Balcony:

Stairs to the Second Story Terrace:Terrace View: