I'm Still Alive!

So we're back from Russia and we have all of our belongings (and limbs for that matter). I promise to fill you in on all the details of our adventure a little later. Right now I just wanted to let everyone know we got home safe.

If nothing else I think I learned 3 very important things on this trip:

1. Russia was not nearly as 'bad' as we expected it to be. We had SUCH a hassle with getting in to the country (and out of Switzerland) that we just assumed that going to Moscow was going to be terrible. The entire trip we were on edge just waiting for the next time we were going to get hassled by something or someone. The way the trip is started definitely plays a big factor in how the trip will continue and end.

2. I am very thankful to have the justice system in America that we have. In the US, if you ever have a question or feel uneasy and see a cop you just ask for help. And, more often then not, they will do everything they can to help you. If for some reason you are confronted by a cop that is not all that 'polite' you probably did something to warrant it. The US has a methodical criminal justice system and there are policies and procedures in place, if needed. In Moscow it seemed very 'us vs. them'. There were police EVERYWHERE and they were always in groups of at least 4-5. Everyone went out of their way to stay away from them and NEVER looked at them. Law enforcement was definitely on the other team there and never, EVER would you even consider asking them a question if you were lost. In fact, I felt safer when the cops weren't around. At least that way I couldn't be arrested and held for something I didn't know I was doing wrong.

3. We GROSSLY under estimated the language barrier. First, NO ONE spoke English except for the lady at the hotel front desk and the wait-staff at the Hard Rock. And, EVERYTHING was in Russian (and no duel signing like most big cities). Between Kyle and I we are pretty darn good at navigating around just about anywhere that runs off of the US, 26 letter alphabet. Between English, German, French, and Spanish we can just about read anything that's really important - and keep us from getting killed. The last 4 days we spent looking for street signs that read 'A, little b with a tail, backwards N, circle with a line through it, omega, elephant, Jesus fish, 4, upside down V, Chinese symbol for peace, backwards Euro sign' and that spelled 'main train station'...our brains just hurt now!

Life is good...

Kyle was able to get all of the required visas to leave and get into all countries needed.

Although on the train this morning going back to Bern to get the last visa I read this:

"Crime is a big problem all over Russia, and particularly in Moscow and St. Petersburg....Try to blend in whenever possible: the less you look like a tourist, the smaller the risk of being targeted.

"Although the mafia is rife in the cities, it is less of a hazard than petty crime: mostly thefts from cars and hotel rooms. There's also much less risk of being mugged in Moscow than in, say, New York, but tourists are often stalked by gangs, who dance around you (or stick pins into you) while they rifle your pockets. The daily murder toll in major cities runs into double figures, but these are mostly mafia killings and tourists are unlikely to become victims."

Then I realized that the book I was reading was printed when the Czech Republic was still communist - that's almost 20 years ago. Don't worry Moms - we'll be safe! I was given some great advice but another expat who is currently living in Moscow. She wouldn't be living there if she weren't perfectly safe.

...Oh, and the only reason I'm posting this now is because by the time this hits your inbox/reader/whatever we'll already be in Moscow...

AHHHHH!!!

Do you ever feel like you live in the DMV?

Welcome to my life.

All I want to do is go spend some freaking money in Moscow. RUSSIA I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MONEY!!! Kyle gets Friday and Monday off of work for Easter. When Kyle gets time off of work we book a trip somewhere and Moscow was the next place on the list.

So, we booked a flight and hotel and the began the visa process. FIRST, you need to get an INVITATION from the Russian government to spend money in their country. So $60 and 2 days later I've invited myself to the Russia party.

Next: go to the Zurich Immigration office to get new entry since our living permits have expired and they take between 3 and 18 weeks to get them (yeah that's almost 5 months - F*#^$). Of course, the office is only open from 8-4 (with a 2 hour break for lunch) so I go ready to get both Kyle and my visas. 3 hours later I'm still standing in line...well, since Kyle isn't physically present I can't get his. BAH! Fine. 92 CHF later I have MY visa and even conned them into a multiple entry visa. Kyle's just SOL and will have to come back before we leave for Russia in a week.

Step Three: 6 am wake up call, 50 CHF, and an hour train to Bern (at least I got to read my book) I'm walking around trying to find the freaking Russian Consulate (not the Embassy - that's on the other end of town and I went there first to get a tongue thrashing and to be told I was in the wrong place). 3 MORE hours in line (outside, in the drissling rain) and 250 CHF I get MY visa to get in Russia (but if the entry and exit dates are PERFECT they will kill you). Kyle has to come back himself and fill out this 3 page document about every aspect of his life. I didn't have to because I don't have a job (and therefore worthless and am no threat to Russian security).

At this point all I want to do is pack a suitcase and move back to KC (with or without Kyle). I just spent at least 10 hours of my time and 400 CHF to go on vacation AND I HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT THE FREAKING COUNTRY YET!! (Don't forget to double to that since Kyle still has to do all this crap too.)

Kyle spends most of his weekend filling out this document that is his life so that he can get up at 5 am to get a train for his Russian visa. Long story short Kyle=no visa.

Now we're just considering cutting our loses. We're running out of time (oh, I forgot, the Russian Embassy is open Mon, Wed, Fri from 9-12. 3 days a week 3 hours a day) and $$ for that matter.

So, it might be costing us about 2000 USD for a wonderful long weekend at 'home'.

Chocolate Anyone?

I'm going on a chocolate run on Monday or Tuesday before they close down the 'Easter Shoppe' at the Lindt factory. I'll be taking requests until I walk out the door. Leave a comment if you want me to bring you something special...otherwise you'll just have to live with the regular Swiss chocolate I bring you :)

Switzerland is a 4 Letter Word

...there's no more...that's it...