You Know You're Swiss If...

Ok, so some of these I don't get in the least but the ones I understand I think are HILLARIOUS! For your convenience I have highlighted the ones I've already seen or found myself doing and added comments where needed.

1. You complain if the bus/train/tram is more then 5 minutes late, make that 1 minute.

2. You've ever been confused with a Swede.

3. You laugh when Americans believe that Swiss Miss is a Swiss product but have no clue that Nestle and Rolex are.

4. You get frustrated if you go grocery shopping abroad and there aren't at least 10 different kinds of chocolate and 15 kinds of cheese available. (by 'abroad' I mean Italy)

5. You have learned three to four languages and think this is completely normal. (Ok, I don't know 3-4 languages but here's the progression of people talking to me: Swiss German - I can't understand a syllable; then High German - I can almost pick out words that I've heard before (but still don't know the meaning of); then English - FINALLY!)

6. You have ever been asked - upon stating your nationality - whether you live in the mountains or if you can yodel.

7. You can pronounce "Chuchichaeschtli' and you know what it means. (I can pronounce 'Olathe', 'Mur-Len', and 'Santa Fe')

8. You have ever been asked who the president of Switzerland is and failed miserably trying to explain why you lost track.

9. You know what "Roeschti" are and you have crossed the "Roeschtigrabe" at some point.

10. You went to the state-funded ski camp every year with your classmates in high school.

11. To you, skis are like the extensions of your feet because you skied since you could walk.

12. You are amused when people ask you what language is spoken in Switzerland and/or you have to explain that "Swiss" is not a language, that there are four national languages and none of them are called "Swiss". (Try explaining to people that you are learning High German because the language they speak where you are moving is not text-book learnable. Again everyone - they speak 'Gangsta Biatch' German here. It's like trying to take a class to learn Spanglish.)

13. You owned a Swatch growing up...or still do! (Swatchs are supercool here! Not the lame-o POC's we had in the states! And they even have their own super nice store on Bohnoffstrasse, not from the sale bin at Wal-mart or off the back end of a pick up.)

14. You've ever seen "Sandmaennchen" dubbed in Romansch.

15. As a female, you give all your friends three kisses on the cheeks as a greeting. (I see this all the time and it still kinda creeps me out.)

16. You love Migros and you swear that some of their products are better then anything you've seen elsewhere. (ie Coop pink labeled chocolate)

17. You've ever been asked by your non-Swiss friends to intervene in a fight and used, "Hey, I'm Swiss" as an excuse not to. (Ok, I've never used this but it's now my answer to EVERYTHING!)

18. Your country has six different public television stations in 3 languages - and you don't think this is unusual.

19. You get amused when you see Swiss German people being subtitled on German television. (see #5 and #12)

20. You firmly believe that it is more important to do things accurately then to do them quickly. (but I actually blame that on my OCD)

21. You were legally allowed to drink beer and wine at the age of sixteen. (Also, there's no open container law here...it's kinda creepy seeing a kid in a Hannah Montana backpack on the tram cracking open a cold one.)

22. You walked to kindergarten without supervision, wearing a large orange triangle around your neck. (they look more like bulls-eyes.)

23. You think it's normal that everyone has a bunker underneath their house, or is registered for one of the public bunkers under the school buildings for emergency situations. By the way, here's a fun thing to do: Invite over some of your foreign friends (Americans make good candidates) and take a picture of the look on their face when they SEE the bunker. Priceless! (Dear everyone, please come see my bunker.)

24. When being asked to explain how certain things work in your country, you have to use the phrase 'it differs for each canton, so...'

25. You are asked to vote on a "Referendum" or "Initiative" at least 3 to 4 times a year.

26. You are used to drinking from any public fountain on the street unless there is a warning sign that says "no drinking water".

27. You grew up believing that all cows must wear bells. (AND SHEEP)

28. You think that driving somewhere for four hours is a hell of a long time.

29. You get slightly irritated or at least confused if your foreign visitors ask to see a chocolate factory.

30. You know what Betty Bossi books and products are and have bought one. (Betty Bossi Margarita Pizza - hmmm)

31. You know someone that collects the tin foil libs from coffee cream tubs (some of those are freaking cool looking!)

32. You don't see where the problem is when every male citizen who has been to the army has an assault rifle under his bed.

33. You have to pay twice the price for Museum entries because you're not a citizen of the EU, although you live in Europe.

34. You are in a non-European country and can hear people talking Swiss German and just go up and strike up a conversation with a complete stranger (I don't actually talk to anyone, ever...)

35. No matter how much of a 'bad-ass' you think you are, you will still pick up your candy wrapper off of the floor if an old lady asks you to. (aka being from the midwest)

36. You think everything is cheap abroad compared to Swiss prices! (I was just emailing Kyle's aunt (HI CAROL! I'm her favorite :) ) to see if I could ship some things to her store and then she could put it all in one box and ship it to me. It's cheaper to pay for the $35 flat-rate box then it is to buy it here.)