The Rollercoster of Emotions

So I'm sitting here, dying to get on a plane but not wanting to pack anymore...

I'm really kind of nervous to go home. From the beginning, Kyle and I have both said we didn't want to go home unless we had to. We are afraid that if we go home we won't want to come back. And it doesn't help that the 3 people I've told we're leaving for a month all say that leaving after your first trip home is 10 times harder then leaving to move here.

So, right now I'm nervous, excited, a little sad, overwhelmed, and still nervous.

Once I get there I already know that I'll be overwhelmed and lonely. Overwhelmed because I know I'll be bombarded with English. OK, I know this is going to sound weird but I am not the only one that thinks this. Here I have learned to tune out conversations, mostly because I don't understand them. But now I don't even know that people around me are talking.

Even when we came over for 1 week to find our apartment we got back to the airport in Dulles and my brain went into overdrive. People talking about their dogs pooing on the floor or not getting a receipt for the water bottle they just bought....first I felt like I was listening in on their conversation (maybe they shouldn't have been SCREAMING) and then you just want to scream and them to 'talk about something not lame'! I'm sure the Swiss people talk about things that are just as lame but I don't understand them so I don't know. And when I talk to the Swiss it's always about how I have to pay for something or 'how do i...?'

We already know that Kyle will be working some crazy hours while we're in New York; and I'll be in a hotel for 2 weeks. Luckily there is a mall and some restaurants across the street to entertain me but I can only assume that after I spend all my money and gain 20 lbs I'll be done. But I have English speaking people, bad hotel MTV, and books to keep me company...so I'm all good! Plus, I would much rather be bored and alone in a country that I can go to the movies or out shopping and communicate with people then in a country I can't.

Then we move on to KC:

Hopefully by then I'll be over my talking phobia. (The first week in the states, I can assume, I will have my ipod with me at all times.) I will be SO excited to see everyone! But again I'm sure I'll be overwhelmed. Then, I'll want to go hide in my room because I won't be used to being around everyone. Then I'll be sad that I have to come home.

Then we come home:

I'll be glad to come home becuase I'm always glad to sleep in my own bed and quit living out of suitcases. But I'll also be sad that I'm back here and all my friends are not.

OK. have have to go back to packing and cleaning and pretending to be a good hausfrau...