I have done a terrible thing...

So, you know I do a lot of real estate work for Bob...

Well, my latest task was to figure out how to send automated emails with home search results to clients. We have a program that does it but it's hella expensive and if we already pay for something else that can do it why pay for 2 things that can do it - makes sense, right?

So, I'm playing with this online software (I don't think that's an oxymoron) and I think I got it all figured out. Well, I'm not going to just start haphazardly spending this stuff out - especially since I don't know what it's going to look like exactly.

So, I gotta send one to myself right? RIGHT! Well, if I'm going to create a search to pull houses and email me every week I might as well create a search for houses I might someday be interested in right? RIGHT!

I pretty much know where I'm going to live when we move home (Kyle can live where ever he wants but I know where I'M living...) So I put in my search area, and my price point, and my 4+ bedrooms, 2+ bathrooms, 2 car garage, etc.

Don't ask what I need 4+ bedrooms for right now - I don't. I AM NOT PREGNANT!!

There's also some other criteria I want but either can't search for it or it wouldn't be a deal breaker if I didn't get it such as: 3 car garage, south facing, kitchen opens to living room, on/close to cul-de-sac or dead end street (I don't want crazy kids driving through my neighborhood runnin' over my dog), doesn't back up to other houses, good school district (although pretty much any school in the area I want is good), etc.

So I run this search and wait patiently for it to process and send me an email. Waiting, waiting, waiting...'you've got mail!'

I get a 19 house list (pretty good I might add - it's hard to find houses in our price range when you're looking in neighborhoods that average, like, $600K). So I start looking through the list...seen it, seen it, ugly, OMG NO!, ugly, useless, really?, seen it, seen it, BINGO!!I found this one. Isn't it a beaut? No, I'm not going to tell you where it is. No, I'm not going to give you the specs. No, I'm not going to tell you how much it's listed for. But I will tell you that all of the floors have to be redone (it might have had some water damage=lots of work!), appraises for more then it's listed at, and meets/exceeds all of my criteria. (If I tell you too much about it you'll heart it so much that you'll go out and buy it just to spite me!)

That of course leads me to run some numbers (Kyle's been feeling broke lately and I've been promising him for weeks that I would figure out how we have money but decided now was the time - you know - because it was for my benefit...)

• Do we have any money for a down payment? (We better freaking have money for a down payment, I've been going without my weekly massages and mani/pedis since, like, the beginning of time!)

HUZZAH, YES!!

• After we put down some $$ will we be able to buy cars (since we have zero cars right now)? And have an e-fund, you know - for when Kyle gets laid off...?

YES AGAIN!! life is good...

• Ok, so I know I can make at least 1 payment, but can I make, like, 2 of them?

YEAH! It's only slightly more then the condo is right now...

Now all I have to do is have Bob tell me it's good quality and convince Kyle that it's a good idea to buy a house that we won't live in for a year and a half and then convince a bank that it's a good idea to give us money for a primary residence we won't live in for a year and a half while I live 1/2 way around the world and...and...and...and...